I love this.
Dare you not to groove to this.....
I love this.
Dare you not to groove to this.....
"What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open."
~ Muriel Rukeyser
This is a quote that PVD posted on her FB status yesterday and whenever I read that, I suddenly hear Jack Nicolson’s characters's voice from the movie, A Few Good Men...
"The truth? You can't handle the truth!!"
It's true. People want to know but they don't really want to know at the same time.
They want to hear the good stuff, the positive and optimistic stuff. They can handle bad stuff as long as it's taken care of, dealt with, no longer an issue. They want to be assured that all is good in the world. Especially when it comes to hearing from the female side of society. Is it because we are the nuturers of the world? When "mom" is not happy...the world goes topsy-turvey.
Women are expected to be "nice ladies" who don't get angry or upset or bent out of shape. We aren't supposed to be too demanding and unrelenting. Otherwise we get called bitches....or worse, we get asked "is it that time of the month?".
The Nice Lady Syndrome - except from The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
" If we are "nice ladies", how do we behave? In situations that might realistically evoke anger or protest, we stay silent - or become tearful, self-critical, or "hurt". If we do feel angry, we keep it to ourselves in order to avoid the possibility of open conflict. But it is not our anger that we keep to ourselves; in addition, we may avoid making clear statements about what we think and feel, when we suspect that such clarity would make another person uncomfortable and expose differences between us.
When we behave this way, our primary energy is directed toward protecting another person and preserving the harmony of our relationships at the expense of defining a clear self. Over time we may lose our clarity of self, because we are putting so much energy into "reading" other people's reactions and ensuring that we don't rock the boat, we may become less and less of an expert about our own thoughts, feelings, and wants.
The more we are "nice" in these ways, the more we accumulate a storehouse of unconscious anger and rage. Anger is inevitable when our lives consist of giving in and going along; when we assume responsibility for other people's feelings and reactions; when we relinquish our primary responsibility to proceed with our own growth and ensure the quality of our own lives; when we behave as if having a relationship is more important than having a self. Of course, we are forbidden from experiencing this anger directly, since "nice ladies", by definition, are not "angry women."
Thus begins a self-defeating and self-perpetuating cycle. The more we give in and go along, the more our anger builds. The more we intensify our repressive efforts, the more we unconsciously fear a volcanic eruption should we begin to let our anger out. So, the more desperately we repress....and so it goes. When we finally do "blow", we may then confirm our worst fears that our anger is indeed "irrational" and "destructive". And other people may write us off as neurotic, while the real issues go unaddressed, and the cycle begins again.
Although "nice ladies" are not very good at feeling angry, we may be great at feeling guilty. As with depression or feeling hurt, we may cultivate guilt in order to blot out the awareness of our own anger. Anger and guilt are just about incompatible. If we feel guilty about not giving enough or not doing enough for others, it is unlikely we will be angry about not getting enough. If we feel guilty that we not properly fulfilling our prescribed feminine role, we will have neither the energy nor the insight to question the prescription itself - or who has the done the prescribing. Nothing, but nothing, will block the awareness of anger so effectively as guilt and self doubt. Our society cultivates guilt feelings in women such that many of us still feel guilty if we are anything less than an emotional service station to others.
Nor is it easy to gain the courage to stop feeling guilty and begin to use our anger to question and define what is right and appropriate for our own lives. Just at that point when we are serious about change, others may redouble thier guilt-inducing tactics. We may be called "selfish", "immature", "egocentric", "rebellious", "unfeminine", "neurotic", irresponsible", "ungiving", "cold", or "castrating". Such slurs on our character and femininity are perhaps more than many of us can bear. When we are taught that our worth and identity are to be found in loving and being loved, it is indeed devastating to have our attractiveness and womanliness questioned. How tempting it may be to shuffle apologetically back to our "proper place" in order to regain the approval of others.
Unlike the "bitches" among us, who are doomed to lose popularity contests - if not our jobs - "nice ladies" are rewarded by society. The personal costs, however, are very high and affect every aspect of our emotional and intellectual life. "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" becomes the unconscious rule for those of us who must deny the awareness and expression of anger. The "evil" that we must avoid includes any number of thoughts, feelings, and actions that might bring us into open conflict, or even disagreement, with important others. To obey this rule, we must become sleepwalkers. We must not see clearly, think precisely, or remember freely. The amount of creative, intellectual, and sexual energy that is trapped by this need to repress anger and remain unaware of its sources is simply incalculable. "
Sound familiar?
Rolling your eyes yet?
Ready to take it a step further?
I don't think this is a unique issue just for women? I see men having similiar issues.
Talk to a guy and most of them don't feel they are allowed to show emotion. They are conditioned that its wrong for guys and that it turns women off. To them...emotion = wimp. They have to be a nice guy...but not too nice. A bad boy...but not too bad. And tough with a thick skin to roll with whatever. But sensitive is not allowed....even though most women say they want a guy who is sensitive. Mixed messages? Yup. So guys bottle it up....just like a women. Maybe even worse so because it's somewhat acceptable for women to cry and be all emotional that way....but not for a man. Men are expected to suck it up....tough it out....be the rock. But it eventually comes out in some way....either through implosion or explosion. You never see a woman at the top of a bell tower with a rifle.....
Are we not a funny, mixed up species?
Why is emotion so taboo?
Because people just can't handle the truth.
I can't say that I am a big olympic watcher or fan....but I can say that I am very proud to Canadian....and most definitely proud to be from Vancouver.
And while I may not be watching or paying much attention to the events, I am proud of my city and all the people who are taking part, whether they are participants or working.
Last night's opening ceremonies were really well done and very uplifting....even if the cauldron, at the end, wasn't...lol! :) (a friend suggest it needed some viagra...haha! )
I think these 2 videos display some of what I love....
1. This song is just amazing...gives me chills....and the video showcases the city I live in! Loving it! :)
2. And this guy delivered this speech during the opening ceremonies and did a better, slower version of it there. But, as a Canadian, I am loving this. If you're not Canadian, you may not understand...but that is ok...I love you, anyway! lol :p
Gotta be proud! :)
I received this via email a while ago and thought it was too good not to share.
HANDBOOK for 2010
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3.. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch..
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33.. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
When you're at the gym slogging it out on the elliptical machine's hill program and feeling a bit sluggish compared to the girl 2 machines down who is just going to town........check her screen to see what program she is using. She may have a totally blank screen and not using any program AT ALL (not even manual).
Hill program vs zero resistance.....hmmmm.....lol! :)
*not that you should ever compare yourself to anyone else, especially at the gym......but sometimes certain details can put things in a different light :)
Another gem from the Daily OM today....
I feel such gratitude for the people who add to my life! Thank you! :)
Magical Moments
Most of us are adept at seeing the big picture. Caught up in the hectic pace of modern life, we feel compelled to immediately distinguish what is important from what is not. The assessment is an easy one to make when we are mired in the daily grind—everything relating to success seems significant and everything else seems comparatively trivial. But what is most precious in this life cannot be measured in affluence or influence. The truly noteworthy events in our lives are often the least momentous yet the most wonderful. They are the magical moments in which we are simply awestruck by the wonderment of life. Though our perception of magical moments may be blocked by worldly concerns, our days are filled with such moments. To experience them fully, we need only open ourselves to their existence.
Magical moments are not measured by the composition of an experience but rather by our reaction to it. Since such moments come and go quickly, they should be consciously savored and noted. They stick with us only when we recognize the impact they have had on our mood, our day, and our lives. In such instances, we may find we are suddenly and blissfully aware that we have evolved or that those around us have changed in some positive way. We may stand in awe at the beauty of a familiar object or derive great pleasure from an everyday activity. Or we may witness incidents of supreme kindness and compassion that do not directly involve us yet touch our hearts intensely. Nature is a constant source of magical moments. When we cherish such occurrences, we condition ourselves to take note of them when they happen and appreciate the value they add to our lives.
This is from the Daily OM email I got a few days ago. I LOVE this! wow....
When a door opens, walk through it. Trust that the door has opened for a reason and you have been guided to it. Sometimes we have a tendency to overanalyze or agonize over the decision, but it is quicker to simply go through the door and discover what’s there as that’s the only way to know. Even if it doesn’t seem right at first, opening this door may lead to another door that will take us where we need to go.
Doors open when the time is right for us to enter a new space, metaphorically speaking, and we can have faith that walking through is the right thing to do. Sometimes we linger in the threshold because we are afraid of leaving our old life for a life we know nothing about. We may have voices inside of our heads that try to hold us back or people in our lives saying discouraging things. These voices, internal and external, are known as threshold spirits, and they express all the fears and doubts that arise at the beginning of a new life. Nevertheless, none of these voices can hold us back, and they will fall silent as soon as we cross the threshold.
There are many doors that open in the course of our lives, leading us into new relationships, jobs, friendships, and creative inspirations. Our lives up to this point are the result of all the doors we have walked through, and our continued growth depends on our willingness to keep moving into new spaces. Every time we walk through an open door, we create a sense memory that encourages us to move into the new fearlessly. When we enter the new space, we almost always feel a thrill and a new feeling of confidence, in ourselves and in the universe. We have stepped across the threshold into a new life.
This was written by someone I met recently and who is a MAN! :) I love it and thought I would share.....
Common sense for every man:
When she walks away from you mad [ Follow her ]
When she stares at your mouth [ Kiss her]
When she pushes you or hits you [ Grab her and don’t let go ]
When she starts cussing at you [ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she's quiet [ Ask her what’s wrong ]
When she ignores you [ Give her your attention ]
When she pulls away [ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst [ Tell her she's beautiful ]
When you see her start crying [Just hold her and don’t say a word ]
When you see her walking [ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she's scared [ Protect her ]
When she lays her head on your shoulder [ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
When she steals your favourite hat [ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she teases you [ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesn’t answer for a long time [ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she looks at you with doubt [ Back yourself up ]
When she says that she likes you [ she really does more than you could understand ]
When she grabs at your hands [ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]
When she bumps into you [ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tells you a secret [ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes [ don’t look away until she does ]
When she misses you [ she's hurting inside ]
When you break her heart [ the pain never really goes away ]
- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don’t believe it, talk with her - because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think its stupid.
- Let her wear your clothes.
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
- Kiss her in the pouring rain.
- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
....And fun! Either of these would have been cool to have been there for....
(* NOTE: the general public was not aware that either of these 2 events were going to happen...so just imagine going about your daily routine and...... :))

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